A Letter Of A Happy Bruised Heart

Reminiscing stories.. 

I'm not sure how long I've been feeling this way, but it seems that each day that passes is a day that I am even more tired of everyone and everything that reminds me of you. I wish I could be with you someday. Hours seem so long lasting. They drown me inside in ways that you could never imagine. I try dreaming of you but that’s bad on my part to conceive such impish things in my mind. It is just not appropriate and not good for a child of God. I should be just content of what I have and the enclosed self within me. There is so much to tell you that I could not convey because of the lack of courage and to add a dilemma of having language barrier, I supposed. And while in this infinite abyss we wait for the day in which we can just escape.. to you. 

I can’t stand this storm inside me. The city seems to be deserted just by my hard pounding thoughts. Weird people run without stopping, at my back are this intense universe that can’t seem to stop. Days seem grey. Everything seems mute while I cry because of stupid reasons that just make me angrier inside. It’s weird but I’m mad for letting myself fall for you, even though you did not warn me nor did anything to show love. How could you do this to me? I've tried to be a good friend to you but it seemed all pointless because you were just dumb, so helpless me and I do not have anyone to turn to right now. All are just uttered to the sky and letting God hear my heart cries, summoning to release the pain and the prolonged agony inside. 

I have evidences of SMS and chat messages about what you feel for me and I am so much holding on to it. These are my pillar of strength while Jesus is at the other end of my life’s rope. I wouldn't mind which ones are real or false truths. It is like happiness but soaked in desperation and loneliness. Too much of incompetent notions but the heart feels and instincts add to it. It is I think a simple gesture of “I’m about to screw you over big time honey!”. How pitiful of me then to receive such acts where all I showed was kindness and love. And what was I supposed to do? I was stuck in between you and a hard place, we won't talk about the hard place. You don't have an idea about this feeling, and yes you do.

But I don't blame you if there is too much pain to start with. Sometimes I feel like you keeping me half dead, inside my head. To be honest, I can see I'm not the girl whom I should be. It’s how you wanted it to be, it’s like you’re playing a joke on me, and am I losing a friend.. in the end? 

Aprovechando que está aqui..

Tenemos esa inquietud de aprender cosas nuevas..

Estar inquieto por no sentir el dolor..

Making the most of being here. 

We have the need to learn new things. 

To feel restless so not to feel the pain..

Quoting from Lord Byron's Letter to his Beloved Caroline:

"..God knows I wish you happy, & when I quit you, or rather 

when you from a sense of duty to your husband & mother 

quit me, you shall acknowledge the truth of what I again 

promise & vow, that no other in word or deed shall ever 

hold the place in my affection which is & shall be most 

sacred to you, till I am nothing."

My heart would like to utter the same words and I want to thank our Lord Jesus Christ for letting me virtually meet you and become a part of my life. If ever the saddest moment comes that I quit you, always hold on to Jesus Christ because He will certainly comfort you to replace a lost place of me in your heart. If you will then fall in love to another woman, may you keep that love, nourish with constant communication and culture it with sweetness so you won't feel any pain anymore. All my prayers are here in my heart. Take care and God bless us all.

Posted:January 10, 2012 16:39

This was taken from my other journal bank on another microblogpage which will shutdown soon. It is still hard to compose notes in English language. :(

My K-Love

ヅ Whom have I in heaven but YOU? And earth has nothing I desire, besides YOU. My flesh and my heart may fail, But GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.. ~~ Psalm 73:25- 26. 

하늘에서는 주 외에 누가 내게 있으리요 땅에서는 주 밖에 나의 사모할 자 없나이다. 내 육체와 마음은 쇠잔하나 하나님은 내 마음의 반석이시요 영원한 분깃이시라. (시편 73:25-26)

I learned about this Christian radio station when I was in the US and I've been listening to it even when I am here in my home country-The Philippines. What I love most about the USA is the fact/truth that a very huge percentage of the people there are believers. They have that big faith in Christ Jesus. Christianity in my country came from the Spaniards and Americans and how they value their faith is astounding

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD, which is in Christ Jesus our LORD. (Romans 8:38-39 KJV)

PRINCETON, NJ -- The large majority of Americans -- 77% of the adult population -- identify with a Christian religion, including 52% who are Protestants or some other non-Catholic Christian religion, 23% who are Catholic, and 2% who affiliate with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Another 18% of Americans do not have an explicit religious identity and 5% identify with a non-Christian religion.

The United States remains a largely Christian nation. I always pray that every faith and every heart which grows deeper for Christ in many countries won't fall towards a demise. T______T 

         

Real Christian Faith

There are times where it is just you and Jesus who are talking in prayer. You are keeping Him busy hearing/listening to your summons, gratitude, and excitement over things that happened or have happened. The blogpage link below speaks well of me too as if like a prayer. :) It is very well said..as if she's telling Jesus about what kind of situation she's going through but her goal is to get the message across young people's mind. The author communicate clearly and compellingly with great composure, and her message was sent clearly. It is undeniable that a reality like this is knocking on us. 

I can't help but to commend the author's write-up for this certainty and truth. GOD is the ultimate navigator of the steering wheel of a Christian woman's life. A woman of faith is not really just waiting in vain but is walking closer to GOD while He is busy planning great things for her future.

1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height,
for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at.
People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Proverbs 31:30
30 Charm can be deceiving,
    and beauty fades away,
but a woman
who honors the Lord
    deserves to be praised.

Indeed! Worth a read in its entirety. Click here:
http://www.writerscarnival.ca/peek-into-a-womans-heart-1-faith-is-like-a-tattoo-you-cant-borrow-mine-so-get-your-own/

Home-Cooked Foods

When I was living far far away from my family last 2011 to 2013, I learned so much about eating survival. Since the cost of dining out will put my pocket in despair, I decided to cook for myself for breakfast, lunch and dinner/supper. I admit I seldom visited fast-food chains, well just because I wanted to save more penny. hehe.. I went to several restaurants though and I will tell that they have superb servings plus the food is really great. We will say in Tagalog that the food serving is really "pang-dalawang tao" (a food serving is for two average-eaters).

What I like most about those foods I've savored were the "SALADS"! I Loooooove veggies a lot and it's so mouth-watering when they are mixed with those pecans, spinach, and blue cheese!! (missing the food in the cafeteria :|) I always think about the "burrito bowl" I had in NY, MA, and NH and the quesadillas. I've also had a very nice co-worker who will let me try some frozen-prepared foods. Those are new to me because we do not have much of frozen ready-to-eat foods in our country. The pre-packed food, I know how some of those were made by watching TV.They taste better but I think will still stick to home-cooked food more unless I have no time to prepare my food. 

I am not a chef, thus my cooked food won't taste good for the pro but I can follow cooking vids carefully to give the delicious treat a try. Some of those I cooked were adobo and mechado. Adobo variety has a base ingredient called "soy sauce" which typical American grocery store don't have (I was only able to buy from the Asian section).  Mechado type of viands are prepared mainly with tomato sauce, which is the major ingredient. 

        
                                                                                Adobong Pusit (Squid)

                  

"Beef Mechado"

Cooking Procedure:
1. Heat cooking oil in a pan then saute the garlic and onion.
2. Put-in the beef and saute for about 3 minutes or until color turns light brown

3. Add the tomato sauce and water then simmer until the meat is tender. Add water as needed.
4. Add the soy sauce, ground black pepper, lemon rind, laurel leaves, cummin, paprika and salt then simmer until excess liquid evaporates
5. Put-in the potatoes and cook until the potatoes are soft (about 15 to 25 minutes)
6. Place in a serving plate then serve hot with rice. Share and Enjoy!

Adobong Manok sa Gata (Coconut Milk Chicken Adobo)

My kid said she can't get enough of mama's chicken adobo [but this photo does not look presentable though :( ] It is every mother's goal and duty to make sure that we cook what our kid(s)s like(s) so they/he/she will eat a lot.

Ingredients:
• 1 lb. chicken, cut into serving pieces
• 1/3 cup white vinegar
• 2 to 3 tbsp. soy sauce
• 2 tbsp. crushed garlic
• salt to taste
• 1/4 tsp. pepper (or 1 tsp. peppercorn)•  water
• 3/4 cup coconut milk• chili pepper
• 1 tbsp. oil



Cooking Procedure:
1. In a deep skillet, brown chicken in oil.
2. Combine vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, salt (to taste) and pepper (or peppercorn). Stir to blend and then add into the brown chicken.
3. Bring to a boil. Lower the heat and allow simmering uncovered for about 10 minutes. If the sauce is reduced add about 1/2 cup water.
4. Cover and continue simmering until chicken is tender. Pour coconut milk and add the chili pepper.
5. Cook for another few more minutes to thicken the sauce.
6. Remove from heat. Transfer into a serving dish and serve hot.