Read this letter when I browsed over a site.. got struck and curious about the title. This reminds me of a real life scenario.. (maybe though). If you find this one's for you.. stay simple and let the Lord God guide you.. one day.. that SOMEONE will come your way in God's precious time..
..reposting
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I received an epistle from a friend dated September 13, 2000 and I wonder why until now I still keep it. Maybe all the words she wrote strike me hard or I still haven’t understood why she wrote the epistle for me. I met this girl from college and she became part of every success I had but as of now I hardly seen her since we all both busy with our lives. For the record, this girl has loved me so much but I have just ignored it or took advantage the friendship she offered because I am afraid that I have nothing to give in return. Call me “selfish” but that is who I was before...I loved those persons who don’t love me and I ignore those persons who love me. Call me “stupid” also but I am afraid to love and to be loved before because maybe I am afraid of commitment....maybe I hate the relationship ....and maybe I don’t like the responsibility.
So, from the girl who wrote the epistle below, this page is for you. I want everyone to know how lucky I am to have you and how big your heart is for a person like me..
September 13, 2000
...For Whom I Really Care,
I don’t know how I can help you. I don’t know how I can approach you. I don’t know how I could understand you. I don’t know if I did something wrong with you. I don’t know how I can be a good friend of yours. I don’t know if it is good if I help you. I don’t know if it will do any good for you. Am I a great destruction to your life? Sorry If I am. But God knows, I always tried to be of great help for others. I always want to do something good for the sake of others. But now, there’s something I realized, I’m not a good help but a great destruction to you. I am sorry. But remember when you need someone to talk to, just tell me. I’m willing to listen.....I’m willing to understand you, ‘coz you’re my friend and you are important to me.
But for now, I have decided to be silent. Just observe and watch you over. My words won’t help you anyway at this very hour, so I will shut my mouth. But you know, it’s hard for me to be quiet and there in my eyes, I have seen you heavily laden. I want to help you to carry out that burden, but it seems you don’t want me to. It’s hard to bear. You’re my friend and I love you...and refusing in my offer hurts me so much. I don’t know why I care so much to you. I just met you as one of my classmates, so why do I have to feel so affected when I see you crying. It seems that your burden is mine, too. When you’re crying, I was crying, too. I don’t know why? I can’t help it. It seems you don’t care. I’m just one of your friends. You don’t notice me. You’re not aware that here I am, a friend who really cares. Sometimes, I asked myself, why do I have to feel this way...to care so much for a friend whom didn’t noticed what I am doing for her? But the pain I’ve always felt disappears when I see you smiling. Why??? You’re not just a friend for me, but a VERY SPECIAL FRIEND that even I can’t explain.
Hope you will be able to take time to help yourself in a way you won’t be hurt. You don’t want to ask help from me, but still I do understand you. My heart will always understand you because you are just who you are whom I accepted, whom I loved, and whom I considered a special friend. I wonder why but God knows it. What I will do now is to pray for you, because I know that is the only help that you can’t refuse from me to do. JESUS loves you so much as I love you, too..
I have decided to write this letter for you, so that in times you remember me, you have something to read that reminds me how I really care for you. I don’t want to keep this in my booklet just like any of my sentiments because I want it to be yours, because it is really for you.
Just remember, I am here to listen, to understand, to accept you, of course to love you and to treat you as a sister, no matter how queer you are, how unique you are, how impossible you are, and how different you may be. I will just stay by your side, keep on smiling of course and I will just drop a simple note when I have something to share.I love you,
sis
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